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Skeletor vs. Cobra Commander
Skeletor vs. Cobra Commander '''is Season 3 Episode 7 of Draconic Alchemist's One Minute Melees. Description Think back to many of the villian cliches we still see parodied today. Now, take a guess as to what two really exemplify those cliches. What will happen when Skeletor, enemy of The Masters of the Universe takes on Cobra Commander, enemy of G.I. Joe? Intro One Minute Melee! Where all the fights are settled in 60 seconds! '''TWO FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! MELEE!!! GO! (Cue Main Menu; 0:00-0:08) Player 1 moves from Hades to Skeletor. Player 2 Moves from Sigma to Cobra Commander. Ready? Yes. (Main Menu fades out.) Fight Who do you want to win? Enemy of "HE-MAN!!!" Commander of "COBRAAAA!" In Cobra’s home base, the Commander watches a monitor closely, the radar on screen showing a single dot getting closer and closer to the base. Cobra Commander: “I think this might be a sign of those blasted Joes trying to sneak up on us! We must sneak around their sneak attack, and sneak attack them before they finish their sneak attack on us!” Suddenly, the dot disappears before reappearing right on top of the base. Cobra Commander: “WHAT?! Why did those goody-goods disappear on my state-of-the-art radar system?!” ???: “Because it isn’t a goody-good coming for you, you miserable excuse for a villain!” A smoke cloud appears within the room. From the smoke cloud, a bunch of blasts of energy fire into every Cobra member in the room except the Commander, putting them all to sleep. A figure comes out of the cloud of smoke, revealing himself as- Skeletor: “I am Skeletor, Eternia’s greatest terror! Show me to your ultimate weapon, or you shall not live to see the end of today!” Cobra Commander: “Hey, I’m the commander around here, and I order you to leave right now, or else it will be YOU who won’t live to see the end of today!” Skeletor: “Really?! You think your pathetic Earth technology can stand against my magical might?! Don’t make me laugh, you dirt-cheap dictator!” Cobra Commander: “Well, I have a few tricks up my sleeve myself!” Skeletor: “Yeah, like what?” Cobra Commander: “You see this staff?” (Common Boss Theme 1 fades in; 3:14-3:17) Skeletor: “Yes, I see the staff! What is your point?!” Cobra Commander: “Well, this staff… Can distract you!” Cobra Commander kicks an assault rifle off the ground and into the air. Live and let die! Cobra Commander grabs the gun. FIGHT!!! 60 (Common Boss Theme 1; 3:17-4:17) Cobra Commander fires the gun at Skeletor, who deploys a shield in front of himself. The gun quickly runs out of bullets, at which point Skeletor runs forward and decks Cobra Commander in the face. Skeletor continues his beatdown with a left hook, followed immediately after with a kick to Cobra Commander’s chest. The Commander grabs the kick at the last moment, allowing him to flip Skeletor over. Skeletor face plants onto the ground as Cobra Commander grabs another gun and fires. 53 Skeletor suddenly vanishes, allowing the bullets to bounce briefly off the ground. Skeletor reappears behind Cobra Commander and swings his staff, forcing the Commander to stumble forward. Cobra Commander grabs his own staff and whacks Skeletor over the skull with it, following with a strike straight into Skeletor’s bone face. Skeletor stumbles back onto the computer, quickly getting back up and swinging his staff downwards, Cobra Commander using his own staff to block the attack. 46 Cobra Commander quickly kicks Skeletor in the shin, getting Skeletor off of him. The Commander then gives a good left hook into Skeletor’s ribs, sending Eternia’s tormentor into the door leading in and out of the room. Cobra Commander quickly kicks Skeletor again, knocking the door down and sending Skeletor into the next room, onto a catwalk overlooking a hangar. Cobra Commander rushes forward with a running punch, but Skeletor steps out of the way before quickly hitting the Commander with a kick to the behind, tossing him over the edge. 40 Skeletor laughs briefly until an attack chopper rises up, with Cobra Commander in the cockpit. The guns of the helicopter fire, forcing Skeletor to run to the side, just barely in front of the rain of bullets. Skeletor leaps onto a ladder leading up onto the roof, quickly climbing up it. 35 Skeletor, on the roof of the base, sighs of relief, just to be interrupted by Cobra Commander’s chopper rising through the roof of the building. Cobra Commander: “Now I got you right where- WHAT IS THAT?!” The Commander notices a spaceship above the two villains, which fires a rocket at the chopper. Cobra Commander jumps out at the last second with a rocket launcher of his own, which he fires at the ship as his chopper explodes. A good chunk of the ship soon follows, a select few of Skeletor’s minions jumping out at the last second, hanging onto a single parachute. 28 Skeletor suddenly runs to the side, prompting Cobra Commander to chase after. The Commander leaps at Skeletor, who suddenly disappears. 26 Skeletor reappears in a large, open room with a huge device in the middle: The Molecular Assembler Scrambler Sender, or M.A.S.S. Skeletor laughs briefly at the sight of his ultimate objective before a hole is blown above him, with Cobra Commander jumping down and pinning Skeletor to the floor. 22 Cobra Commander repeatedly punches Skeletor’s skull. Cobra Commander: “Submit… To… Your… Doom!” Skeletor: “NO!” Skeletor shoots energy from his eye sockets, forcing the Commander off of him. Skeletor winds up a punch, just to stop to dodge a bullet from a nearby guard. 18 The guards in the room continue to fire upon Skeletor, who barely dodges the bullets as they come. Suddenly, Skeletor’s minions burst in through the wall, each one rushing a guard down, taking out half the guards in the room. Skeletor uses the opened moment to send energy blasts at the other guards. 14 With all the guards knocked out, Skeletor and his minions advance upon the Commander, who uses the rocket launcher to blast Skeletor back. Skeletor flies across the room, landing far away from M.A.S.S. 12 Cobra Commander rushes past Skeletor’s minions towards Skeletor, just to have his leg grabbed by Beastman. 10 Skeletor rushes towards M.A.S.S. Skeletor: “You miserable minions! Grab onto the machine, or I won’t care if you get left behind!” 7'' Skeletor’s minions rush onto the machine, Beastman tossing Cobra Commander across the room and into a wall. ''4 Cobra Commander gets off the wall and grabs the rocket launcher again. 3'' Skeletor: “We’re going back to Snake Mountain!” Cobra Commander fires the rocket as Skeletor slams his staff onto the ground, teleporting away himself, M.A.S.S., and, least important of all, his minions. '''GAME!!!' (Common Boss Theme 1 plays to end) The rocket hits the floor where M.A.S.S. just stood. Cobra Commander chucks the rocket launcher to the ground in anger. Cobra Commander: “AAAARG!!! You skeletal pest! Cobra will find you, and we will get our revenge! REVENGE SHALL BELONG TO COBRAAAAAAA!!!” Results (Cue End Credits) This melee's winner is... Skeletor! Skeletor: "Why is the theme to that darned He-Man playing?! ARG!"Category:Masters of the Universe vs. G.I. Joe themed One Minute Melees Category:80s themed One Minute Melees Category:'Villain vs Villain' themed One Minute Melee's Category:'Magic vs Technology' themed One Minute Melees Category:2019